They gave him gas, they gave him heartburn, they gave him headaches, but he couldn’t stop eating popcorn.
The autopsy revealed high levels of THC, a few crystals of ureic acid, and a receipt from a dentist in Tijuana for seventeen hundred bitcoins.
His brain was donated to the Brain Trust for an undisclosed tax receipt.
The odd relic of his half-remembered life was licensed to appear in an upcoming blockbuster.
His heart was donated to the Heart Foundation, beating all previous donations.
His feet, minus the baby toe on the starboard foot, were burned in effigies.
His liver was transplanted into former president Jimmy Carter, giving him a couple more years of life.
His balls were knocked out of the park when Paul Bunyan pitched a no-hitter.
His stick comforted the duchess of Glosterchershestershire in her bouts with depressions.
The whites of his eyes served as target practice during the American Revolution.
The CIA examined his sublingual proclivities, but they proved to be unsuited for any future needs.